This is the first year I have ever grown these, in fact I don’t think I have ever seen them in real life before. They looked so pretty in the gardening catalog. I needed them to be mine. They bloom every night just around sunset and stay open all night. On nights with a lot of moon they look romantic and magical. The smell is soft and delicate, and reminds me a little of suntan lotion and walking on the beach. They are going to be a regular feature in my garden in the coming years.
For the last few months putting out this collection of stories was my main goal as a writer. I did some other writing too. I submitted and got rejected for an anthology and worked on a novel idea. But now the book has been released and I feel sort of flat.
What now?
I don’t expect this book will do well. So far I have sold 7 copies, which I have to admit hurts my feelings a lot. I am trying not to let it, but it is hard. I am a big supporter of the arts where I live. I spend more money than I care to calculate right now on plays, local music festival, my friends’ art and their artistic endeavors. I go to art auctions and give donations to local groups. I am not saying I expected these people to support me, not exactly. But I expected some sort of boost. I know, I sound like Earl in “My name is Earl” – “You do good things, and good things happen”. And now I feel sort of stupid for having these expectations.
I am trying not to take this personally, but it is really hard. Sure, lots of people might not like the sort of stuff I write. And that is ok. I give time and money to the thing I do because I like them and think the work they do is good and worthwhile. I wonder how many people think what I am doing is worthwhile?
I need to think about my next moves? Should I start submitting short stories to anyone who will take them? Should I work on a novel? Should I take a break and get a real job? Should I try to save up money and go to a writer’s workshop like Clarion West? I could use the pointers and practice, but I could use the contracts even more?
To the people who read my blog who have some success at selling their work, do you have any advice? How do I get my stories to the people who would enjoy them? What is a good balance between traditional publishing and self-publishing?
My book is available now!
If you like fantasy, horror and sci-fi please go check it out. Let your friends know about it if you think it is something they would like. If you buy a copy it will make me very happy.
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Here is the Amazon Link:
If you don’t use Amazon then you can also get it in EPub format on Gumroad.
So you would think that with my first book coming out tomorrow morning that I would be talking it up and telling you it is the best book ever; that it’s going to change your life or something. But in fact what I want to do is preemptively apologize. I bet that makes you want to run out and buy it, right?
I should explain. Something new is always a little scary. This is scary on lots of different levels.
Any time you create something and put it out there to be judged, you run the risk of rejection and ridicule, so I am having the “I made this, please don’t make fun of it” feelings. Sure, some of my friends will buy this and they will tell me it is great. But since this is something I am doing in the hopes of building a career on it, strangers have to buy to. What if they buy it, read it, and hate it? What if no one buys it and my little spirit is crushed?
This is self-published, so I don’t have any validation from an expert. If this was traditionally published, someone whose career is knowing which books will make money would be telling me my book has a chance. I have lots of cheerleaders, and a few of them have even worked in the publishing world. But I don’t have someone who is willing to risk their reputation or money on my work.
I know a great story when I read one. I have read some amazing stories over the years. A few that come to mind are “The Fiddler of Bayou Teche” by Delia Sherman, “Snow,Glass and Apples” by Neil Gaiman, “Braiding the Ghost” by C. S. E. Cooney, and “Article of Faith” by Mike Resnick. None of the stories in my collection are great stories; they are entertaining and might make you think, but they are not the work of the masters. Don’t misunderstand – I think my stories are good, or I would not waste my time trying to sell them at all.
I want to be able to sit down with each person who buys “Treacherous Nature” and before they read it say, “OK, so if my career goes the way I hope, this will be the worst thing I ever publish. Someday people might look back at this, and chuckle at my embarrassing first collection of stories, and that is OK. Kitty of September Future is doing well and she looks back at these and laughs too. However for Kitty of September Present, these are the best stories she can write. These are months of hard work, stress, and tears. To Kitty of September Past, this is the fulfillment of several dreams. She dreamed of the day when she would have the motivation to finish stories; she longed for the day when she would have the self-confidence to put her work into the world. So please, for the sake of Kitty of September Past and Kitty of September Present, save all your negative comments for Kitty of September Future”.
But I can’t do that. People will buy or not buy; people will like it or hate it. Once I post the links, this collection has to stand or fall on its own.
Technology is amazing.
I just put what I hope is the final version of my book on the kindle, which by itself is amazing. But there is a link in “About the author” to this blog. And if you click it, my blog shows up! And Jamie’s art work shows up if you click a link in the acknowledgements. (My husband figured out the link thing not me, but I figured out all the rest of the stuff).
I just can’t get over that. It is like magic.
This book looks so professional. And I did this. I had all the ideas, I wrote all the words, I edited (this I had help with), I put in all the art work (except Jamie’s cover), I formatted it, and I converted it.
I feel like a superhero tonight.
I hope the upload to Amazon and the release tomorrow go well.
If it does there will be a link here tomorrow so you can go buy it!!! Yay!!!
Dealing with the death of something you care about is always hard. When something dies of old age or illiness, it hurts. There is still sadness and anger. When you can honestly say the death was not your fault then there is no shame. But when the death is your fault, the healing process is really hard.
I lost two chickens about two weeks ago. Not old chickens or sick chickens, but healthy eight-month old hens. And their death was my fault.
When you get pets or livestock you make a commitment to take care of them, protect them, and treat them with compassion. I loved these chickens and took good care of them, except I did not keep them safe.
At night they sleep in a henhouse, up on a roost. A ramp from the hen house goes out into a run that they can’t get out of. I thought the run was secure, so I stopped locking them into the hen house all the way each night. I locked up the run, but I left the door into the run open. Over the time they have lived outside this happened several times. A few times we forgot, but they were OK. So after a while we stopped closing it all together. And it was always OK.
Until it wasn’t. Some animal climbed a tree down on to the top of the hen house and found a way in.
When the first chicken went missing, I did not realize what had happened. There was no body, no feathers. She was just gone. I figured she might have gotten locked out when I let them free range the night before. She was a very broody hen and it was possible she made a nest under a bush. So I spent two days searching for her. I looked under everything, and went into neighbors’ yards. I even wandered around calling her name. She was my favorite chicken, Speckles. She was the sweetest when she was a baby. I would hold her in my hand and she would fall asleep. She was the most beautiful, most friendly, and had the most trusting nature.
I could not deal with the idea that she was dead. She must just be lost and I would find her. So it never dawned on me that something was able to get in the hen house. Two days after Speckles disappeared I went outside to find feathers everywhere.
I can’t describe what that felt like. In one moment I realized Speckles was dead, another chicken was dead, and that both deaths were my fault. I cried, I screamed. I wanted to find the animal who did it and kill it. I want to punch something. But what I wanted more than anything else was to go back in time and fulfill the commitment I had made to these animals.
Goldie was the second one dead. She was the warrior princess of our chickens. She scared my two twenty-pound cats when they came out with me for a visit. She once ate a snake. She took on a rooster role with the other chickens, looking after them. I think she did that the night she died.
The feathers were everywhere — in the henhouse, in the run, even outside the run. She tried to fight whatever got in, but she could not manage it. And it was not her job. It was my job to keep her safe, and I failed.
The run is secure now. We lock them up tight every night. I have had trouble sleeping every night since then, listening all night long in case they need me. And every morning starts with fear. Will I find five chickens this morning? Or four and a pile of feathers?
I don’t know how to deal with that. Sometimes I still think they might just be lost. But it is a lie my mind tells me when my shame is too much.
Sacre Bleu: A Comedy d’Art by Christopher Moore
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Every book Christopher Moore puts out is better than the last one. This one was great! The characters were interesting, the story unique and compelling. But the thing I want to highlight in this review is the look and the research.
The look- Wow! This is the prettiest fiction book I have ever seen. Full color pictures of the real art that the characters see/paint brings the story to life. I felt the pictures added a whole other level to how much I enjoyed this book. Also the ink is blue! The paper is a perfect feel and weight, the cover is beautiful.
The research- Moore researched this novel for 3 years before he wrote it, and you can tell. His understanding of the artist and the time period is impressive. He even lived in Paris for several months and that first hand experience shines through. As mentioned above the pictures add so much and if you want even more he has created a chapter guide with painting and pictures of locations not in the book, as well has history and real facts about the characters. I recommend you give the chapter guide a look.
I just sent “Treacherous Nature” to the very nice people who have offered to beta read it. It was ready to go last night, but my internet went out. I am a little nervous that other people are about to read my work but not nearly as excited as I thought I would be. I think a little self doubt is trying to sneak in.
Today I start finding markets to send new stories to. My plan is I will write and self publish one thing, then I will spend a month or so sending out new stuff to other markets, then I will self publish again. This way I am both getting my stuff out there to read and trying to get recognized the traditional way. I hope this helps keep the rejections from getting me down too.
As long as the beta readers don’t hate anything too much this should be for sell soon. I will post the detail when that happens.
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Five stories are written. All have been read and edited on the computer several times, but now is time for the big edit. I print it out and focus on it completely. This stack of paper is so intimidating right now. I have 16,472 words to read. Each word to be judged and questioned. I hope that I still like all these stories tomorrow. I hope I like me tomorrow, too. I have never had so much of my own work to read at one time; this could be very uplifting or completely soul crushing.
You know the old saying “Hell is an eternity spend with your friends”? I think the printed out, big edit is sort of like this. I am about to spend several hours with myself from the recent past. I hope she is intriguing.
Sorry, I had to go with the pun; please forgive me.
Yesterday we got our first egg! We knew it was going to happen soon because Snow, the leghorn, was starting to show signs of being ready. She does not like to be petted, but for the last week or so, every time we got near her she would get into the hunched-down chicken mating position instead of running away.
Yesterday we heard lots of noise from the hen house, so we ran out to check on them. When we got to the hen house we found a tiny white egg. Snow is the only one of our chickens who will lay white eggs. Leghorns are prolific layers; at their prime they can lay about an egg a day. And our Snow is living up to the hype; she laid another egg today about 30% bigger than yesterday.
We got her on February 3 at about 3 days old, so she is just over 4 months old now. It is hard to believe that the little chick that was just the size of an egg then is laying her own eggs now.
kittysarkozy.com 