I’m frankly surprised I’m still doing this. Focusing on one thing for this many consecutive days is hard for me. I’m having to fight the urge stop because I feel like everything else is falling behind.
While I’m out of work with my official day job, I should be doing more of my side hustle, It’s been over a week since I worked, and no work means no money. That is stressing me out. I have a good bit saved, but still, steady income is important. Also because I wrote for over 2 hours yesterday I missed going to the gym. I need to try to make that up today if I going to progress on both weight loss and getting my left leg muscles strong again. It’s been over a year since I broke my leg and I’m still walking with a cane. I know that the damage was severe and some of this will stay with me the rest of my life, but I can try to make the best of it and get my leg as good as it’s going to get.
Yesterday was sort of hard for me emotionally too, so I kind of want to not do anything today, except maybe sleeping or watching TV. I’m tired, hungry and feeling like this writing thing is pointless. Why am I doing this, what do I even hope to accomplish? If I can’t get my friends to read the things I write how can I expect that anyone else will? How can I expect to have any sort of success?
Am I a bad writer, who is self-deluded into thinking I have talent and potential? I wonder if I am suffering from some sort of narcissism to even for a moment believe that anyone anywhere would want to read what I write. Is this true for everyone who tries to be successful at an artistic pursuit? How do you get past the idea that you are just a petulant child standing in the middle of the room screaming “pay attention to me!” ?
I enjoy writing when I’m doing it for fun, but most of the time I don’t think I have anything worthwhile to say, so why say anything? I have other fun hobbies that no one gives a shit about, why not focus my time on those?
Today’s assignment is to spend 30 minutes on my work in progress, which is good because I’m going to do a Facebook post later with an excerpt from my WIP, maybe in half an hour I’ll have something good to post.
Work Log
At 23 minutes I stopped working on the blog post and switched over to my WIP
At 1 hour 2 minutes, I stopped working on the short story
At 1 hour 7 minutes, I’m done editing this and ready to post, I don’t feel like adding pictures.
I think I’ll try to write a little more before I post the WIP.
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